What Chemo Is Like (It Totally Bites)

 Right before I knew I had to start chemo, I looked everywhere online to find out what it feels like. Nothing really prepared me for it but if you want to know what my experience was, I'll tell you. The place I go for chemo is very lovely... There's a restaurant with live music on the first floor that you hear all the way upstairs. On the chemo floor, there's big comfy recliners each with their own tv, a coffee bar, and a guy comes around and takes your food order (as if you can eat). I think the reason they make it so lovely is you would never come back for the weekly torture any other way. haha.
 The first two weeks I had this burning sensation all over... It felt like my veins were on fire. This was attributed to the change in electrolytes and everything else..You're supposed to drink 2-3 quarts of water which I simply can't do so a nurse recommended I drink gatorade. The gatorade is the only thing to stifle the burning but my electrolytes are still a mess. My bones in my forearms, hips, and back hurt most of the time... It's a radiating pain that never really goes away.  Headaches are very normal for chemo patients and mine are nothing that I've ever experienced. My headaches are more like migraines and there are too many interactions with the chemo to take any migraine meds so I take percocet and that barely helps. I have found that drinking lots of water/ gatorade does help all the pain.
 The nausea and loss of appetite come and go. At first, the nausea was really bad and I couldn't keep anything down. Meat always makes me sick so I don't even bother and as you go along you will find there are things that always make you sick and things that don't. The most important thing is to try and find your happy medium. I'm pretty happy with my gatorade and cheerios but you might be able to handle more variety. I take 8 mg of Zofran twice a day but I still have to keep it bland. Good luck!

Beating Cancer Over the Head with a Sledgehammer

Many of my friends and acquaintances know how much I savor my time kayaking away a Saturday with my daughter, hiking undiscovered trails, doing my daily 5 am yoga/pilates, and running around two miles a day. They also know how I am a huge advocate for coral calcium, massive amounts of vitamin D (25,000 grams or more a day to combat pain and boost immunity, and shark oil- not to mention my juicer fixation.
 I'm not perfect. I haven't been the best at handling the stress of an ailing parent, living on a tight budget as a single mom while finishing college, and sometimes picking up a bad habit to ease my frustrations; however, I I don't think any the recipe of my life could have ever prepared me for the dark cloud that rolled over my existence this past September.
Instead of avoiding the questions anymore, I decided it's time to let you all know about the cancer that I never saw coming. It's called choriocarcinoma, which effects 1 in 40,000... It develops from another condition called gestational trophoblastic disease which effects about 1 in 1,500. Choriocarcinoma is one of the two rarest forms of cancer and it's one of the most aggressively spreading cancers that first effectsthe uterus, then moves to the lungs, liver, and brain within months.
 Luckily, my doctors chose to start chemo right away because within a month it had already grown into the muscles surrounding my uterus and was quickly on its way to it's path to finish me off as it made its way north. At the ripe old age of 33 with an 8 year old at home,  as this prospect and uncertainty of sudden death this vicious disease take sthe upper hand threatening to break our hearts and rob my child of the special bond that she deserves. I cried for two weeks and I realized this monster wouldn't get me.
 I take Methotrexate every week.. along with Zofran for the nausea, but the kicker is that chemo causes horrible headaches smilar to having knives stabbing you in the head but there's only a handful of meds you can take because Methotrexate has a ton of side effects so you're stuck with tylenol or percocet but forget migraine meds.
 The causes of choriocarcinoma are relatively unclear... I've heard everything from the causes ranging for having a type A blood type (as I do), Asian and African descent (which I don't), vitamin A deficiency (I totally don't), and a few other odd ones. On the bright side, choriocarcinoma and gestational trophoblastic disease are very unique forms of cancer and are the most researched diseases at universities world wide becase they have a very unique ability to stop spreading and they could help find cures to other forms of cancer.
 While I have felt overwhelmed by this, I know I can fight this and I'm going to win this battle. There's been so much pain in the process of beating this monster but despite the chemo and the plethora of painful treatments one thing keeps me string enough to keep fighting... HOPE.

Get These Books...

If you haven't read "Out of the Dust" or "Cold September"... They're both available for download.


Find links to download both on ibooks, kindle, and nook:
http://www.squidoo.com/cold-september-a-novel

My author page on amazon where you can download copies of the books:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_at_ep_srch?_encoding=UTF8&sort=relevancerank&search-alias=books&field-author=Kristin%20Benedetti

Thanks for checking them out!!!

The Cancer Report #1

Last August I was going in every day for more tests and no answers. In September and after one surgery the answers started to become clear and now I'm on week 3 of chemo. It was harder at first just because I didn't know what to expect but now I feel like I know the drill. Gatorade is the only thing to help stop the constant burning all over but the nausea is always there. Most of my family and friends have remained supportive and others are giving me good vibes through their psychic powers. I think the whole concept of cancer freaks people out, so I'm not surprised that some people can't talk right now. It can be hard to know what to say but I'm very grateful for the people who try. It's rough and very lonely and I appreciate all of you.
The hardest thing for me to deal with is not just death but also losing control. My body was the one place that was always and forever mine and now I feel like I belong in a petri dish. I'm only 33 and I feel like I should be the hyperactive mom I've always been but my body isn't cooperating. There's been many nights that I can't sleep because of the sheer terror at the thought of leaving my daughter. I want to be the same mom I was before. I guess only time will tell how long it will be until I can get back to driving everyone nuts.